Attention: Apparently due to an unauthorized reposting of a link to this particular blog, the traffic here might get a little heavy. I wanted to say thanks to Clare Flourish for the shout out. Even though her purpose isn’t so altruistic, I figure that God is going to use her purpose for His purpose. This isn’t one of those gay bashing, I’m a super Christian blogs. This is a blog about real life struggles on the road to deny my homosexual desires, please God and ultimately walk more in God’s presence daily. I think she might be trying to point out something that I already pointed out, but if my crazy emotional state somedays due to the crazy state of the world is a point of interest to people, well then, they need more entertainment in their lives. So welcome if you are coming here from Clare’s blog. I welcome your comments. Please refrain form foul language, but I usually allow all comments unless they are just downright defaming and have no point. I think this might be what the bible talks about as persecution for Christians who stand for the word. If so, Praise God. I am doing something that has a lasting impact. Welcome, welcome! May God bless you on your journey and may you encounter Him today.
I have been finding it really hard to obey God’s word when it comes to one particular scripture. While it is not good, it isn’t one of the big 10 or anything. My trouble is currently with a little call to arms found in Galatians 6:9; “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” I stand before you today as a man who became weary while doing good and lost heart a few weeks ago.
A great deal of the ministry I have to the gay and ex-gay community involves allowing my heart to be available and open to hurting people. Not everyone treats you with the kind of respect you hope or feel like you deserve for the effort you put forth into their lives. I am forever reminded of how people treated Jesus when He came to show them the way. He didn’t really get the red carpet treatment that He deserved. I will be the first person to tell you that I am not perfect. I still make mistakes that hurt people and have to walk that well trod road, paved with apologies all the time.
The success or fail of personal ministry to someone is directly proportional to their desire for God or their sin. When it comes to homosexual sin, a concept about the world in Ecclesiastes, says it best; there is nothing new under the sun. Sin and temptation are almost as old as the foundations of the earth. They may not be new, but they gain new ground as they encounter each new personality type and that person’s unique brand of brokenness. satan has no new tricks.
A few days ago, I shared the story of how homosexuality developed in my life as a boy and how God redeemed and delivered me from my gay life, with a group of 24 people in Melbourne, Australia. In less than 45 minutes, the Holy Spirit opened the eyes of one young man to see that my story was extremely similar to his. I will say it again. satan has no new tricks. He relies on his ability to keep us isolated, bound, bruised, beaten and broken in order to keep us from finding out the truth. That is where my ministry comes into play. My ministry in a sense, is a ministry of sowing doubt. Every time I share that Jesus freed from homosexuality with receptive hearts and ears, I sow a little more doubt into satan’s perfect little cult-like religion of “Born Gay”.
I don’t share my story to bring shame to the world. I share my story, because Jesus is Lord and Savior of my life. Without Jesus in my life, there would be no life. I thank God for my broken sexuality, because without it, I wouldn’t know Jesus as well as I do now. People are always going to be offended by any message that calls out their sin. satan and a few well organized, vocal people have worked overtime building a PR monster that has softened, polished, elevated and separated homosexuality from the rest of the sexual sins in the bible.
Every morning I wake up and see one more victory to normalize homosexuality, I creep a little further down the road from the verse I quoted. I love to share my story of redemption. I don’t love the persecution that comes as a result of sharing. Just today, a well-known Christian singer came out with some very disparaging and completely unbiblical statements about same sex marriage. Every time I read that another Christian leader has caved and set aside the truth of the bible in favor of personal sentiment, it weighs heavy on my heart.
There is no reputable, repeatable evidence that any person is born gay. A great portion of the population has simply formed an opinion based on their emotion and found an open and accepting media to be the ideal platform for launching this “doctrine of demise” into the world. “Gay Christianity” is even further proof that satan has infiltrated true Christianity, as he has time and time again throughout the history of the world. Scripture is twisted and reinterpreted so that people are left bound and left as the spiritual dead by the very words that were meant to bring them life.
So yes, my friends, I have found myself a little unwittingly and unwillingly disobedient to Galatians 6:9 for the past few weeks. I found myself going through the motions as I read my morning devotions. I woke up daily feeling like I was lost in a heavy emotional fog. I would search the scriptures, hoping for a spiritual cure all, only to close my bible disappointed and hurt. Jesus never left my side. God never forgot me. I believe God hurts intensely at the outbreak and celebration of sin in our world. I am leaning more on God these days. My mornings are filled with prayer and praise as I awake, rather than allowing the darkness to descend over my heart. Sharing the truth about homosexuality as I have lived it, is one of the toughest endeavors I have ever attempted. No matter how much the world holds homosexuality in high esteem I will choose daily to honor God with my sexuality. No matter how much ridicule we endure as “ex-gay” men and women by “Christian” leaders, People of Influence or anyone else in the world, I will stand on the truth of the Word of God that homosexuality is not in God’s plan for my life or anyone else.
I didn’t choose to be a light in the darkness, but I accept my responsibility to reach the lost. Though, I didn’t choose homosexuality and wasn’t born that way either, I will respect that the bible says it is a sin and that God’s grace is sufficient for me. I will honor Jesus Christ with all my heart, soul, mind and strength: on good days, after bad weeks and throughout the rest of this amazing life that Christ has seen the foresight to give me. I am nothing without Jesus Christ in my life. That is not a statement of false humility so I get a gold star on His eternal roster. It is simply a statement of fact. Another scripture I have to get used to is that God’s strength will be displayed in my weakness.
I have often wondered why I am still pursuing the path of righteousness when it comes to my sexuality. I can only look back and credit it to many things: a praying father, endless scripture because of endless church services and the amazing grace of God. I am not special, but I have seen the truth of God’s word played out as it relates to sexual sin and brokenness. Gay “Christianity” is taking its toll on men I once stood arm and arm with in this fight. Many of them feel that if God hasn’t taken away their homosexuals desires then it must mean that homosexuality is in His plan for us. Speaking from experience I can tell you personally that is a lie from satan. If God never completely eradicates temptation and sin from my life, I still owe Him my every waking moment on this earth, because of what He gave up for me. Christ surrendered His right to any expression of His sexuality. Christian, Gay “Christian” or whatever, if we call ourselves a Christ follower, we must follow Christ’s example He laid out before us. Rather than rationalizing and compromising, in order to live a hybridized life of homosexual sin and the Worship of Jesus. The word of God is clear about homosexual sin. The leaders of the Gay “Christian” movement are going to have hell to pay. Instead of presenting the truth of the bible, the Gay “Christian” Network is disseminating a watered down gospel that incubates their own sin and propagates a message of death to men and women who’ll stop just short of the cross and lose out on eternity with Christ altogether.